NEW PATTERN COUNSELING - PORTLAND, OREGON
Something powerful happens in relationship. When you consistently spend time with another person, and that person is fully present, fully engaged, non-critical and compassionate, you begin to feel safe. In that safety, you discover trust, and that trust leads to confidence and clarity. You come away from that relationship with a sense of, “I can,” and “I am enough.”
As counselors, the primary task we do is to provide this relationship space. When we are together, we provide a few core elements:
Attunement – A technical term for Empathy. When we attune, we are working to recognize, understand, and respond to your internal world. If we succeed, you feel felt.
Gentle Curiosity – We ask a lot of questions designed to help you look inward, recognize your parts and how they interact, to see patterns and cycles, and to understand how your history impacts your present. This is closely paired with…
Non-judgment – There are no bad or good parts of you. There are no negative or positive feelings. Circumstances are endlessly complex…but likewise not inherently evil or good.
When we offer non-judgement, we don’t call everything good and ok. What we do is help you step back from all judgement, interpretation, critique and agenda altogether, so you can take an honest, curious, and compassionate look at a feeling, a though, a memory, or any other part of you.
Non-judgement is like Unconditional Positive Regard. When you are with a therapist, you can be your raw and ugly self, and say all the offensive things, and we will still welcome you without condition.
Confidentiality and Privacy – When we talk, the space between us, and all that we discuss, belongs to you. We don’t share that information without permission, except in a few specific cases, (we are mandatory reporters), and even if we do believe a report needs to be made, we will always aim to collaborate with you through every step of the process.
Neutral Optimistic Perspective – You might have people in your life who love you. You might have people in your life who support you. You might also have people in your life who have an unbiased perspective on you. It’s a rare case when you have a person in your life who is all of these things at the same time. That’s where we come in. Our therapists don’t have anything at stake in our relationship (like a family member might), nor do we have a specific hoped for outcome (like a pastor or priest might), but nor are we emotionally detached from you (like an employer or teacher might be). Instead, we get to freely be present with you, curious about who you are and who you could be, and creative about how to help you become your best self.
So then, as your counselor, therapist, advisor, recovery guide, primarily what we do is to be with you, in the way you need in the moment.
We help people understand and break free of compulsive and destructive behavior patterns, unburden from damaging inner narratives, and establish trusting intimate relationships.
We create a safe and supportive relationship space where you, the client, get to be completely heard, unconditionally welcomed, witnessed and unjudged. In this space, we help you understand your inner world by likewise seeking to understand and be present with this world.
We offer supportive perspectives on patterns you present, and help you to see them yourself.
We help you get to know yourself and your strengths so that you can take responsibility for your actions and ownership of your life trajectory and begin taking an active role in your relationships, decisions and every aspect of your healthcare.
Very specifically, everything we do is based in a strengths-based and person centered approach, and our style of questions has been influenced by Motivational Interviewing. We favor Existential and Humanist concepts and approaches, while incorporating elements of Eastern Spirituality, particularly as relates to daily practices.
Our approach to people and relationships has been shaped by Family Systems and Internal Family Systems, and we incorporate elements of Narrative Therapy, Emotions Focused Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Please note that while we have read books and taken individual trainings in these modalities, we are not officially certified as a practitioner of any of the above named modalities.
Have a question? Contact us today
It is important to find a therapist you feel comfortable with. Please contact our office to schedule an initial free consultation to see if if therapy is the right option for you.